Cop Out Review

By Ryan Hamelin

Movie Grade: C-

“Unfortunate” is probably the first word to come to mind. “Inexcusable” is another good one, but if you’re not a fan of Kevin Smith, you probably wouldn’t find this film any less enjoyable than his past work. For those who can appreciate Clerks, Dogma, Chasing Amy and even Jersey Girl (with the help of some form of substance), it is understood that there is a really talented filmmaker beneath the layers of pop culture references and interesting characters with snappy dialogue. It would seem only natural that a true test of Smith’s directorial pedigree, helming a film he did not also write, would demonstrate to the world that Silent Bob was ready for large budget studio moviemaking. With a script that was originally titled A Couple of Dicks and Bruce Willis on board playing a cop, everything pointed towards a knock-it-out-of-the-park comedy experience that could bring in the new decade with a host of quotable lines and classic Smith comedic style. Instead, we got this.

Disclaimer Number One: I am not a Tracy Morgan fan. I have nothing personally against the guy, and I could tell from the handful of large laughs he received that others really appreciate his comedy, but he really just doesn’t do anything for me as a performer. The guy may be extremely talented and intelligent, but when operating at mentally disabled levels of stupidity, I just don’t find him funny. You hear loud obnoxious people like him in supermarkets all the time, that doesn’t mean you give them a movie deal.

Disclaimer Number Two: I am a Bruce Willis fan. I even enjoyed Surrogates for crying out loud. Something about Willis and the way he works always feels believable to me, and that puts him on a short list of guys who I think could legitimately kick ass in real life like they do in action movies. Part of what pains me so much about this particular performance is how totally phoned in it is. He doesn’t care about what’s going on. He’s holding a gun, but he’s not acting like a cop. He has literally no dramatic or emotional input in the entire film, and winds up just sort of floating along as the guy who supposedly enjoys Tracy Morgan’s company and doesn’t find him annoying (the most unrealistic character he’s every played). Add to that a lame subplot involving a baseball card, and you’ve got a guy who is simultaneously not Bruce Willis, nor even a human male capable of being played by Bruce Willis. It was hard to watch.

Now, Cop Out is a comedy, and as any good comedy writer knows, no great comedy has ever existed without a secret weapon. Bill Murray in Zombieland, Seth Rogen and Bill Hader in Superbad, Russell Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, all helped elevate their respective movies into the pantheon of humor. Seeing as Cop Out was, up until this particular character’s entrance, struggling to make it into the realm of “decent” comedy, I’d say the film’s saving grace is a bit of a game changer, and the only truly salvageable part of the film. Who is so good that he almost makes seeing Cop Out worthwhile? I never thought I’d type this… but it’s Seann William Scott. He is almost unbearably funny here, and brings the usable runtime up to about 25 minutes. It’s been a while since he’s gotten the chance to nail a role as completely as he does in this film (Role Models was just Stifler in a Minotaur costume) and his parkour expert thief who ends up in the back of the cop car more often than any other character definitely shows signs of a career reemergence.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, this film tries to be a buddy cop movie. But when one of the two leads doesn’t care, the other one is annoying, and the bad guy is literally just wasted space, there’s not a whole lot of chance that the film will ever work beyond the most superficial level. Also, if a supporting character manages to completely steal a movie when he only appears in less than 1/3 of the total runtime… you have bigger script problems than a lack of compelling jokes. It depresses me to say it, but this is one Kevin Smith film I couldn’t enjoy, and I doubt many of you will either. Save your money, and if you’re really curious, catch it when it comes out on DVD.